Dream, Dream, Dream

Many quotes these days emphasized that dreams are essential in achieving the goals.

Guess, it slipped their mind to mention, REALISTIC dreams.
But, will dreams ever be realistic??

DREAMS



Don't you wish you wake up in the morning, there is a nice aroma of coffee waiting for you at the breakfast table.
Your fluffy cat, your loyal dog and your chatty hamster can talk in human language. They share with you things you have missed out while you were sleeping, including a neighbour cat that trespassed your front yard.

Daniel Eric Gold is your husband, and you have a daughter as cute as Suri Cruise.

Mr Obama is one of your good friends, and you get invited to Michelle Obama's Girls Night Out.
You eat a lot and you never gain an ounce, and you can fit in tiny Sarah Jessica Parker's dress size zero.

You have breakfast in Beijing, lunch in Hong Kong, and dinner in Brunei.
There are no worries, and you are full of strength.

Nothing comes between you and courage.

When you go to bed, you count the blessings and know tomorrow is as good as today, if not better.

***

REALITY

Reality always bites.
The cutest guy always asks you for your best friend's number.
The waiter gave you sorbet when you asked for ice cream.
When you complain, you are short temper.
When others complain, it's one of their bad days.
A friend called to ask for a listening ear. When you called for reciprocal ear, he said you are whining.
Man and man quarrel are about principle and rights. When woman and woman quarrel, it's cat fight.

Then, you realize, it's all parts and parcels of life.
Life's too bored if it's without ups and downs.
You learn each day as you try to overcome these issues and challenges.

In a blink of an eye, jealousy and back-stabbing are still there.
But you smile at these things now, for you have learnt to let go.
There are other important things that deserve your attention.
Life's too short to dwell on negative matters.
You may be kind, but stay assertive.

One day, those with the same eyes will be able to see and observe,
all you have done and positively contributed.

***

It's Not About Monday Blue

It's not about Monday blue, it's about the process to work towards what and where you deserve.

The irony in life is you have more than 300 friends on facebook, but when you need a listening ear - you have only 3 friends on the list. - Pancakeism

Note: This picture is taken from flickr.com.

I Told You So

"Life is a lot simpler if people mean what they said, and they do as what they said"

- Pancakeism

Everything Counts

I used to belittle the power of gestures and words. Drop a call to say hi, compliment on a friend's new hairstyle, write an e-mail to find out whether a friend needs help with her wedding planning, etc. Not until recently, I found out if you do it more than once and do it well, you will get good remarks. If you do it repeatedly well, they will soon become your "branding". 

I used to think we read each other's mind, so I tried not to explain or avoided courtesy calls. I saw these acts as wishy-washy, which I found out few weeks ago that they are the source of my unhappiness/problems which I didn't create them myself directly. But, indirectly. 

It's impossible to explain everything in one posting. The story I want to share is too long. In the nutshell, don't bottle your feelings & thoughts because people won't know when you don't tell. Also, don't stuff your notes in bottles and expecting them to be picked up one day by someone who understood. Well, the bottles may not or will not reach them. It's more productive and fetch more certainty if you just tell. Don't set up a small committee inside your own head and thinking that people will understand you because you've thought through the entire process carefully. Well, people can't read your mind, but they can read/hear your words and they can see your actions. 

Pancakeism's Food for Thought:

Think before you speak

Speak with purpose/s

Purpose/s must be clear

Clear thoughts stand a higher chance to succeed. 

Wedding Dress

Today is the wedding day of one of my better friends, Mei (better, because they are better than good friends). Mei, an English of Chinese descendant, is getting married to James, an English of Spanish descendant, I believe they will have beautiful children. To start with, Mei is a charming woman. Her charm came from her heart, not only from her looks and awesome fashion sense. 

I should be in London this week to celebrate her big day, but work is piling up and there is no way I could get away from my desk this month without feeling guilt. So, I called her at London time 2am today, yes I must be mad to interrupt a bride's beauty sleep. But it is not easy to choose a good time with the 7 hours time difference. 

Thinking back, I have already known Mei for 11 years. We got to know each other during our Master years. I recalled it was a cold autumn mid-morning in Keele, I was having bad jet-lag and hungry, and had no place to stay, yet. The warden asked me to wheel my two big suitcases myself - and later I found out my dorm was a good one km walk from her office. Having pampered with the facilities of having own car in Brunei, I wheeled the suitcases and annoyed with the warden and the university at the same time!

Then, a tall, Chinese girl in her early 20s walked past with rocket speed, I stopped her and asked: "Excuse me, how far is Horwood from here?"

That Chinese girl answered with very strong British accent: "That's far, can you manage these things on your own. Let me help you!"

We walked for a further 10 metre, and I asked her, "Err, I know this might sound weird, but do you happen to have instant noodles? I am extremely hungry. This is dinner time back at home." 

"Yes, I do. You poor girl. How long do you have to travel to get here? I am from London. My brother drove me here."

"I had to take a 14 hours plane from Brunei + an hour domestic flight from London + 2 hours coach ride from Manchester to get here" (Back then during my first trip to Staffordshire, I didn't realise I could just take a train ride from Euston Station to reach Stoke-On-Trent, and another 20 minutes cab ride would take me to Keele University). 

"Oh, you really must eat. I will cook instant noodles for you as soon as you settle down." 

This is how our friendship began. Over the years, we have come up with a phrase together from our Keele experience ie. "If we could survive Keele, we could overcome all other things in our life".

On Your Mark

"Do not be careless. We would be easier target for our opponent when we are off-guard"

 - Pancakeism

If You Think You Can Win, You Have Already Won Half Of The Battle

Baby K is learning fast, and now he demands to sit at dining table like grown-ups and he wants to drink from his own cup. 

I am telling my brother and my SIL, we have to be careful with words we use, and tv programmes we are watching. He is like a piece of new paper, and it's the family's role and responsibility to make sure the good moral and good values are drawn on that piece of paper. I am not allowing guns and knives on our tv screen now, and I am forbidding all silly teenage dramas which fetch no value. I'll let Baby K watches them, but not now, not at this stage when he can't differentiate right or wrong, good or bad. 

A friend asked me last week, what's the first thing on our mind when Baby K was born? It's "Faith", especially on my brother's mind I must say.

We were panicked when my SIL was in the labour room for about 7 hours without food or water, when she didn't feel she was in labour at all due to the epidural. I had no experience of child birth. But, a decision needed to be made, so I told my SIL, "You have to go for the c-section. The water broke too many hours ago". 

We were all so panicked. Thinking back, I couldn't even recall what I said to my brother before he went into the labour room with my SIL. All I knew we should all have faith. Have faith that God is with us, to guide, light, lead and guard us.

An hour after Baby K was born, my brother called Woofhams and also told my mother and myself that, "A person must have faith. Without faith, I wouldn't know how to cope with the time when my wife was in labour. I felt so helpless initially until I decided to have faith in myself, in my wife, in my son, in the doctor and in the hospital". 

It is indeed true of his words. 

"If you think you can achieve it, you can achieve. Faith is necessary tool to Achievement"

"If you believe you are the best, you can be the best"

- adapted from William Hazlitt, English Essayist (1778 - 1830)

"If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory"

Definitely, May Be .. Shopaholic

I love statistics, but I don't believe in the application of statistics in lottery winning. Some dreamt about a combination of numbers, bought the lottery number, got the prize - to date, I believe this is purely luck. There are some research investigating whether lottery winning is based on the game of probability or people are just simply lucky. 

Yesterday, to de-stress during lunch break, I was thinking on a few things I may do/buy if I was that lucky to win a lottery of $50k. I know this is boring .. well, just some random thoughts. 

Yeah definitely. Family holiday trip and sponsoring education are always on top of my list. Taking my family on a two weeks holiday visiting a few of the UNESCO World Heritage Sites would be enriching and de-stressing. Then, I am thinking of sponsoring education of some children in the less developed world. I am a strong believer of education as one of the most effective tools to break their vicious cycle of poverty. 

And, what will I buy? The list rolled from 1 item to 3 items then to 6, but I stopped at #8. 

Coach Bleecker Canvas Tote

Rado Sintra Jubile Watch

Tiffany "Please Return To" Ring

March Jacobs Sunglasses

Cartier Love Bangle

Mont Blanc Signing Pen

Marc Jacobs Dress

Marc Jacobs Trenchcoat

During my first economics lesson, my teacher taught the class: [Resources are Limited, but Wants are Unlimited].

Pancakeism page 110708 says: [Before 35, you buy mainly because you want them. After 35, you buy because you need them. But, to add on what have been said, there is variation in everyone's bandwidth of wants and needs].

Pancakeism On Holiday Soon

I am looking forward to my leave in the last week of July. The last couple of leaves I have applied were usually preoccupied with preparing papers, finishing projects, helping family to carry out some tasks, etc. that I haven't been really live up to the real meaning of "Cuti Rehat" (applying leave for resting and recuperating).

It's mentally healthy and productive for me to have something to look forward to. Finally, I have a "Count Down", 2 more weeks to go!! The feeling is exactly like when I was 9, Woofhams was 6 and DK was 2. Woofhams and I would open our respective shoebox and put on the new shoes several times a day. We would say to each other, "2 more weeks to go. Can't wait for Lunar New Year, and we could really wear these pretty new shoes!"

Do not think children do not have problems;

They have problems, but they use uncomplicated ways to solve their problems.

- Pancakeism on Life

Little Miss Scary

I believe I might have transformed my status from "Little Miss Sunshine" to "Little Miss Scary" over the years.

Two weeks ago, I've made a new resolution that I shouldn't rot at home and do nothing on Sundays. I did it well for the first half of last Sunday until we were at a retail shop that specialises in massage chairs.

Personally, I don't quite believe in the therapeutic effect of massage chairs. My brother spotted one that is less than 5k and I can't deny the chair looks good in tomato red with all fancy buttons promising to deliver better massage than Osim's iSymphonic. I wasn't tempted because I disliked the over-pressure approach that salesguy was using.

Pancake: Don't worry, give me your name card and I'll let you know within 2 days should we decide to buy. I know your boss, and I'll contact him myself.

Salesguy: No, you won't get this offer if it's not purchase within today. It's useless even if you call my boss.

Pancake: What, you meant your boss is powerless in this decision?

Salesguy: Yes, I deal directly with various dealers, so even my boss can't give you such good price.

I pressured my brother to leave after convincing that salesguy that we had no intention to buy. In fact, I didn't realise my brother was really keen in that chair and he has been thinking about buying an ideal one for quite some time.

I threw my temper while we were in the car on the way back, and made unnecessary loud comments on the concept of under-utilised goods and impulsive spending. I had some minor arguments with my parents as a result.

That unplesant experience is teaching me some good lessons. I was thinking to myself a while ago, "We must learn from our mistakes, otherwise our life is a mistake." My major mistake is, I always want things to go my way and in that "my way", I am turning myself into a "Little Miss Scary."

Note: I am neither giving in nor do I give up on my previous determination. I just learn to prioritise, prioritise on my family's happiness. If everyone at home will be using the chair and it's not under-utilised after a month or two, why should I be thinking that massage chair purchase is impulsive spending.

We Can Do It!

I always love to read my mother's glossy magazines, and since 10 yo I have the habit of borrowing my mother's magazines to read. I loved (and only recently ditched the habit) to read the horoscopes which always appear on the last few pages (thus, not easy to find these pages).

I recalled when I was around 12, I was shocked and fell ill after reading about the 3 major turning points in my life ie. at 17, at 30 and at 42. When you were 12, anything more than normal is unusual. Anything unusual implies it would disturb the state of life I was in. I used to dislike "change". Now, change is the constant of my life.

Thinking back, 17 was really the first turning point in my life. Without my parents' decision to transfer me to another school, I wouldn't be in the job I am now. I wept to sleep for two weeks when I was 17, and complaint to myself that my parents have caused me a lot of pain with the transfer of school - new school, lots of new subjects to catch up, no friends, friends at old school wouldn't want me in their circle anymore etc. I gave myself a two weeks ultimatum before I pulled myself up, and really pulled my socks up and worked very hard on new subjects that I had never liked before eg. maths. Everytime I felt like giving up, I recalled my parents' words: "When others say you can't, you prove them all wrong by showing them real results not just words."

When I was 30, I felt lonely - no real friends to exchange inner thoughts, no boyfriend, Mr Scorpio called me "Fat Pork Chop", career was sabotaged by a good friend, studies was going no where, I saw disappointment on my supervisor's face when he read my first proposal, parents and siblings were so far away, no hobbies, no car, and didn't even know how to cook!

One day, I almost fell on the bus while juggling with three shopping bags full of my weekly groceries. No one on the bus gave up their seats for me, and a young boy even laughed at me as if I was a clown. I watched Bruce Willis's "The Kid" that evening on Channel Nine, and I missed my two siblings. I called both of them to chat for a while, but didn't tell them much of what was on my mind. I am their Big Sister, I have to be The Strong One. I cried for 10 minutes. I missed my family alot. I called a coursemate to discuss, and he thought that was my pick-up line. I hung up, and thought about the world, my faith, my family, my friends, my career, and what I want to do next in my life.

I made new workable resolutions.

I felt like a new woman when I woke up the next morning. I always believe, the right attitude could change the course of our life. I had breakfast at a cafe near my apartment that next morning, and I complimented on the waitress's hair colour and the omelette the cafe prepared that morning. She told me they used only free range eggs (I got a new recipe, in a way). When I reached uni that morning, I invited my supervisor and his wife to coffee, it turned out that he wasn't disappointed with me - in fact, he just couldn't understand what I had on my mind. When I was nervous, my ideas stucked and became sketchy in second language. We discussed, and we found out that the more relaxed I was (am), my sentence flowed(s) easier. I bought a book that afternoon to aid my reading. I found a niche, and managed to solve a technical problem for my proposal under one week. In fact, the coursemate mentioned earlier even asked me for help because he and his coursemates couldn't figure out the answers for weeks. A week ago, I wouldn't believe if one were to say I would become teacher to my senior coursemate. I practised and thought about a better, steady way to stand on the bus. From that week on, I could carry two-three bags of groceries easily without the previous clumsiness.

My thinking and my world have started to develop the crystal ball model. I heard and alert with all comments around me and about me, I felt like I had a shield protecting me. Crystal ball, though strong but it's fragile, so I constantly protect myself from unnecessary words. I listened. I heard. I picked the essentials and ditched the negatives.

No one would believe now when I was a kid, I had no friends to play with me. Every young neighbour kids avoided me (I was clumsy and my hobby was finishing homeworks and nothing else), and my grandpa even had to pay them in order to get me some friends. No one would believe when I was younger, I was very indecisive and irrational. It was easy for me to lose directions because I wasn't focused.

Now I believe in faith. I believe my God is a "She". I believe my two grannies are the Angels. Grandma Hwa always on the right side and Grandma Sura on the left side. The three of them will always protect my family and me, bless us with Good Health, Good Luck, Peace on our minds and at home, and of course plentiful of Happiness.

Nothing is difficult in this world, as long as we have the willpower.

April's Fool

"The world has become closer because of globalisation, Many hearts are becoming smaller because of selfishness."

- Pancakeism

Decision

"Looking back, that might not seem to be the best decision. However, that was the best decision I've to make at that time in view of the situations."

- Pancakeism