In a way, it may be true. There are many men and women my age, who don't have to work hard to get what they want. Some that I have come to know, even have good things fall on their plates without much effort.
Life is so unfair, to me. In the past 12 months, I have been thinking of this issue. I have blamed it on my capability a few times before, I have blamed on my luck, I have blamed on my networking skills, I have blamed on faith, I have blamed on time, I have blamed on many things, and recently I have just come to notice - even without those factors that I have put the blame on, outcome will still be the same for many of the things I am experiencing now.
My career is going nowhere. There are many who acknowledge my capability, and there are many who also putting many things dificult for me. I am friendly for I was raised to treat everyone as equal, and I am a firm believer of respect and not putting anyone down.
Yesterday I was very upset for two incidents. (1) I attended a function and was invited to sit beside a senior colleague whom I haven't met for 7 years. Her assistant wasn't aware of the invitation, and told me, "You can't sit here. These seats are for senior administrative officers" (note: no apology or equivalent words were mentioned). Then, (2) a friend was asking me for tips in running. I don't claim experts in this sphere, but I do read a lot in the past 6-7 months since I re-start my fitness regime. A mutual friend heard our conversation, and commented: No use you run on treadmill. That's not real running. That's just leisure.
Be it hobby, sports or leisure, as long as I am healthy, I don't care if it's "real" running or "fake" running!
My relationship sector is hitting the trough, not that I mind it as much as other sectors in my life. A fairly good friend of more than 20 years recently got married, and I am the last one to know in our circle. That guy used to go after me (in the last 3 years) until we had tons and tons of misnderstandings build up since last August. There weren't much going on between us, but I was upset when I heard the wedding news through the grapevine. Someone also told me Mr Scorpio recently has another new baby, and asked it I still stay in touch with him. What's the point of hanging on to the last chapter, when everyone else is eager to read the new chapters. And I also put a full stop to the tangle with a younger guy friend. I wasn't sure whether he was/is admiring me or he likes me as a friend or he likes me as a special friend. He wasn't and still isn't sure. I certainly not sure too.
Younger Guy Friend: I think you like me.
Pancake: I believe I likeD you, yes. I did.
YGF: No woman ever said that directly to me.
Pancake: Well, either you see it as I am wiser, or I am older.
YGF: How about now?
Pancake: The feeling has gone coz during those time when you were either unsure or you were avoiding me, I heard rumours about I was craze to be involved with you in "Demi-Kutcher" relationship. Actually, I have given it a thought, but I am not that serious in pursuing a fruitless relationship with you, so I have put a full stop to my feelings.
YGF: Can full stop be reverted into a comma?
Pancake: No. I don't see a future. Hobby wise, we click. Life wise, you are almost a decade younger than me. I don't want to be asked if I were your mother when I am 55. Ok, I think too much. I tend to think too much, but that's I am.
Well, I believe I am not the only one who found life's unfair. I am sure many found it the same way too. But that's life, isn't it.