Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Am I Too Nice?

My upbringing has taught me to be nice to people. I had this chat with my mother yesterday that "being too nice" if go out of hand will result in a helpless "taken for granted".

Let's not go back too far in history, and focus on recent happenings. I volunteered to advise a friend's daughter with her university application. She told her mother that she knew what she wants in her life and doesn't want my "busybody-ness". I thought I was helpful ;(

I've come to notice the clerks in my office are more polite to my colleagues who have never greeted them in a friendly way and who always pull up a sulky face as if the entire world has owed them a lifetime debt. If I were to pull a long face and be less friendly, will they treat me in a more respectful way??

I was more strict with my previous helper, and she turned out to be helpful and responsible. I am more lenient with my current helper, and last week she has driven me up the wall when I noticed she combined my parents' clothes with the rags in the same washing!!!

I say "Thank You" when I pay at the cashier. A few times, they just throw the change without reciprocal thank. Are they too ill mannered or I am overly good mannered?

I apologise too often and thank too many when they don't actually help me at all, I told my mother.

I give way because I care.
I don't attack because I respect.
I shield because I protect.

What is the balance if I were to change/improve the situation? I don't want to be friendly and be taken for granted anymore. It's enough, It's long enough to be the person who care about the world, but the world has neglected on her feelings and presence at times.


dandelion dust said...

Hmm, never thought of it like that. Although I am always friendly with a firm, no nonsense undertone. I don't let people walk all over me..

pancake Queen said...

May be, that is exactly what I am lacking: "Friendly but with a firm undertone". Thanks for tips!