Happy Communicating

I like these few paragraphs that I saw on 'Personal Development' website many months ago:

"Husbands and wives separate, friends become estranged, and coworkers refuse to cooperate. What causes these sad developments? More often than not, miscommunication. I have seen good people grow apart because of misunderstanding. They thought they were communicating, but they weren't. They were talking (arguing may be more accurate). What's the difference between talking and communicating? Communicating has two parts: talking and listening. The root of the verb "communicate" means to share. How can we share thoughts and feelings unless all parties in the conversation listen with understanding as well as speak? How do we tell our spouses we love them? Not by words, but by LISTENING to what they have to say.

We hear, but we don't listen. We don't absorb the points being made. What causes this breakdown in communication? It's simply because we have different backgrounds, experiences, and histories. The way we view the world and interpret events differs. These differences easily lead to clashes. Once tempers rise, we say what we choose instead of choosing what we say. These quarrels amplify the misunderstanding and further the separation. True, if we share the same ideas, there would be no disagreements, but what a dull world it would be!

The first step toward eliminating misunderstanding is to realise that we are all both different and the same. Because of our different backgrounds, we have different points of view. Yet, we are the same in that we have a need to be understood and appreciated. Knowledge of these simple facts is necessary to end misunderstanding.

The next time you feel yourself disagreeing with someone, stop and ask yourself how their world view differs from yours. Put yourself in their place. Try to understand where they're coming from. Always start with the assumption that, like you, they are decent people. When you think you understand (but don't necessarily agree with) their view, verify and clarify. That is, tell them, "So what you are saying is . . . and what you mean by that is . . .). The moral is never rush to judgment. Don't jump to conclusions."

I believe the best solution to eliminate misunderstanding is to seek clarifications and don't form your own judgement on others' words. If you knew what I am trying to imply.

Oh! Misunderstanding (誤解) .

Pictures downloaded from http://www.fotosearch.com/illustration/misunderstanding.html