Five years ago when I rang Louis to confirm if he was really getting married, or it was just rumour. He replied, "Yes, I am, in 3 weeks time".
I asked stupidly, "Will you invite me?"
He hesitated for a while and replied, "I don't invite friends."
I didn't cry but I was very upset for 2 days when Louis got married because I had the thought that he used his marriage to annoy me. Actually, he did invite other friends. He lied to me. Several weeks later a good friend, Qalbi, passed me a book and she told me the book has all answers for me. I took a look at the book and the title read: "He's just not that into you".
If I were to rewind it further to the year 2000, in fact I shouldn't blame Louis because it was me who pushed him away. I still could remember how he walked away with a birthday gift in his right hand.
Now that I have completely forgiven myself for my stupid mistake in letting a good man go, in fact I think it's blessing in disguise. With our personality clash, I would probably end up as a runaway bride!
I walked past a mall cinema few days ago, and I spotted a poster with familiar title. It has been 3.5 years since I read that book for the first time. It's funny that I have no more regrets and his name doesn't hurt me anymore.
I believe I don't have butterflies in my stomach anymore when I hear his name again. I have no more heartache when I bump into him on the road. In fact, without realising, I've already closed that chapter of my life and moved on.
"Be who you are and be that well"
Saint Francis de Sales
It's only when you have the courage to put him away, then you can see the world around you is bright again.
Most important of all, I have the power and energy now to walk into my future path with more confidence and happiness :-)