When I Was 6 Or 7

Note: Look at Ruthie's facial expressions ... hahaha.

A Lot To Say

I love this painting and the Chinese phrases, especially the first 3 phrases (note: Chinese words are read from right to left).

So Cute ...

I love this poster (from Hallmark - Baby Products), it reminds me of Baby K and my two siblings (of course, they are both in their thirties now and still look cute. Haha ...). 

Bubblegum

One morning in late December last year when I was ready for work, I overheard this conversation between my father and his so-called-friend (our new neighbour few doors away, who seems to me is very "Bubblegum")!

Anyway, ...

Papa (pointed at my grandparents' wedding portrait): This is my parents' wedding portrait.

Papa's Friend: Oh, you still keep them. 

Papa: Yes, of course. I want my children and grandchildren to know who are their ancestors. We are Baba descendants, and do you notice the details of my mother's wedding gown in the other portrait - that's Baba Nyonya culture. 

Papa's Friend: Oh, ok. Many children in the other picture. Hey, which one is you? 

Papa (a bit annoyed): I told you, this is my parents' wedding portrait. How can I be in it when I wasn't even born!!! 

Papa's Friend: Oh yeah, sorry sorry sorry. Btw, you looked handsome in your wedding picture. 

Papa: How did you know? My wife has never kept our wedding pictures in the living room. 

Papa's Friend (pointed to my grandparents' wedding portrait which my father shown him just a few minutes ago): Isn't this you? 

Hahaha ... before my father started to raise his voice, I've decided to eat my breakfast quicker because I didn't (and don't) think I would have any answer for my father's friend who might ask me: Err, which one is you in your grandparents' wedding portrait! 

LOL. 

Where Do I Stand?

Everyone's relationship path is different. Mine is uniquely ... err ... pitiful (note: I am laughing at myself as I typed these words, so don't worry about me). 

I have always wanted to be noticed. I want to be heard. I want to be seen. I want to be recognised. I want to be a part of. I want to belong to. Yet in my relationship paths, I have always been the unnoticeable one and worse, the neglected clown. 

"Hi, thought our feelings were mutual. Err ... Congratulations, have I met her before?"

I have blamed on time. I have thought about luck. I was told I haven't shown enough interests. I was told I prioritised my work over any other things. I was told I have never seem to be serious in acknowledging the feelings were mutual. 

Don't say it was all good intention and you've never meant to hurt me, because you did. 

But, nobody can and nobody will hurt me again because I have quit this silly game that is called love. I've waited too long for miracles. I've always hoped for I would be the lead role and not the supporting role. I thought someday I'll have my own version of happily-ever-after. Well, it was all waiting in vain. 

Recently, I stumbled upon a song playing on radio. The name of that Mandarin song is: Onions. I love those chorus (translation reads): 

***

When you talked about you and her, I have learnt to hide my feelings and learnt to laugh with you. 

If you were to peel layers by layers of my heart, you would eventually regret those words that you said because you would find that it was you who occupied the deepest layer. However, in contrast I have always been the condiments in your eyes. You've never tried to observe nor do you understand me. 

***

Please revert to the first paragraph. Mine is uniquely err ... pitiful ... BUT interesting. It got me to think about: (a) How do people measure their feelings? and (b) Where is the line dividing mutual feelings from wishful thinking?

P.S.: Don't worry about me. Pancakeism prefers to live in present tense and dreams about future tense ;-)

BrightLight's Prayer

Photo taken by Woofhams

Since young, I've never been a spiritual person. I'm not an Atheist either, because I believe in the existence of God. I believe there is only one God in this world, but I'm unsure of Her/His's role yet to date. However, I sense Joy, Security and Peace when I read this prayer in Michelle Casto's 31 December 2008 posting. 

***
Dear God,

Hear my prayer.

Heal me. Teach Me. Guide Me.

Heal my mind of all negative and irrational thoughts.
Heal my eyes so I can see only goodness and higher potential.
Heal my ears so I can hear only positivity and joy.
Heal my heart so I can only feel love and compassion.
Heal my heart so it attracts only like-minded and soul-centered human beings.
Heal my soul of any generational beliefs or programs of separation and anxiety.

Heal this planet, oh Lord, of narcissism, sexism, hatred, jealousy, greed, and unconscious consumption.

Allow me to play a part in the evolution of consciousness.
Teach me what I most need to know and understand about being a being of Light.
Teach me to activate myself and others into inspired action.

Guide me, God/Goddess, to whom I can help and to where I can do the most good.

May my will be aligned with your will.
As the light that I am, I bless the world and claim Success, Happiness, & Righteousness.

So be this now and eternally.

8 Choices For A Fulfilling Life

Adapted from Michelle Casto's 3 June 2008 posting.

8 Choices For a Fulfilling Life
Michelle Casto

Choice 1 Know and Love Yourself
To thine own self be true --- love all of you.

Choice 2 Listen to and Follow Your Intuition
Trust that your higher self is leading you in the right direction.

Choice 3 Open Your Heart and Love Freely
Let go of the past and be fully present with others.

Choice 4 Write Out Your Life Vision and Purpose Statements
Live and work according to what is most important to you.

Choice 5 Laugh Out Loud and Often
Give a belly laugh and really see the comedy of life.

Choice 6 Find Your Unique Life Balance
Enjoy equal amounts from your life pie everyday (love, labour, leisure, and learning).

Choice 7 Have a Spiritual Practice
Be and do something everyday to reconnect to Source.

Choice 8 Become a Lifelong Learner
Learn to learn and be a student of life always.

Official Invitation To be Happy

For the past 2 years, I've worked very hard. I worked so hard that I have forgotten to live a life.

Why did I say so? I spent the last 10 days reflecting on my life, and today I've finally come to a decision and answers to many, in fact, too many of my questions. I have been tired since March 2008, but I believe my lifestyle and my perspectives on life will change from this moment on. Not only I will step out of my comfort zone, I am going to walk or rather, run, into a new direction in my life. 

I read a lot in the past 10 days trying to understand ... many things which I didn't understand. But I do now. I stumbled upon this saying by Michelle Casto:

Human's true intent for seeking Truth is to know Joy ...

After assimilating the meaning of above phrase, I've come to realise not only I have forgotten to live, I've forgotten about Joy, and I've forgotten about Laughters. How can one in the process to seek (1) Knowledge, (2) Wisdom, (3) Insight and (4) Understanding, has forgotten about the essence of Joy and Happiness?

Michelle Casto said: Happiness does not depend on material things; Happiness does not depend on other people's recognition or agreement; Happiness does not depend on what happens, so if you stay, it will be good and if you go, it will be good. Happiness is not to be found anywhere in the external world. 

Happiness is a decision. The main obstacle to happiness is faulty thinking. For instance, thinking someone or some thing can make you happy. This kind of happiness (ie. depending on external factors) is an illusion and has no meaning! Thus, stop looking outside for what can only be found inside, and make a decision to be happy.

Adapted (with minor changes in phrases below in order to fit in the flow of today's posting) from Michelle Casto's posting on 26 January 2008: 

I, Queen of Pancakeism, decide to be happy right now, despite the weather, the world, or other external factors. I absolutely know it is my God-given birthright to be happy.

And as the light of God that I am, I reclaim happiness and happiness reclaims me.
So be this.

Different Facets Of Life

More And Less

I may have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) when I was 6 or 7. Can't blame me, being the firstborn in my family and the first grandchild in our family tree, friends and relatives always said I was over-spoilt by my grandmother. I couldn't recall whether it was to get more attention from grown ups or to annoy them further or both (worse!), I liked to pluck feathers from our feather duster that our domestic helper used to sweep dust (as name implies, feather duster). I hated it when these plucked feathers didn't stay in one place, they were flying everywhere and worst when there was breeze aroound. I couldn't recall how many tons (exaggerating perhaps, hahaha ..) of feathers I have chased in the past. The more I chased, the further they flew. Although I didn't give up, I burnt out thinking of ways to run faster and ahead of the lightweight feathers. So, I asked my grandpa.

Pancakeism: Grandpa, how to make feathers stop flying?

Grandpa: What's the purpose of you plucking all feathers when you decide not to let them fly as they want?

Pancakeism: But I hate the feeling that the feather was so close in distance, and yet as I approached it flew effortlessly further and further.

Grandpa: What's the problem with that?

Pancakeism: But I want them to stay as they were. 

Grandpa: Will you be happy that way, if they stayed as they were? Most things in this world will not stay constant. The faster and harder you chase after the feather, the faster it will fly when you exert too much pressure around it because its weight is too light. 

30+ years later

Pancakeism: Now I know. What should fly, don't trap. What should go, don't keep. The letting go process may be painful, but it's by letting go and re-assessing the opportunity cost that you'll find new solution/s and new direction for your life. 

Recycle

22 days to Lunar New Year celebration. 

I know this idea sounds weird, even to myself. Haha. Well, the 3 Rs say: Reduce, Re-use and Recycle. So, I put away Santa Claus and "Ding Dong" balls, and replaced them with little lanterns. Err, a little weird, but Pancakeism has hardly conformed to the norm anyway ;-)

Photo taken using my iPhone.

Baby K's First Drawing

Baby K's K1 Birthday Cake

Meeska Mooska Mouskatools

Oh Tootles, Meeska Mooska Mouskatools. 

Everybody says "Oh Tootles" 

Baby K loves Mickey Mouse, from his birthday cake to his feeding bottles are all with Mickey Mouse theme. His current favourite dance song is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse's Hot Dog song. 

Small Steps

Do not despair, that you cannot change

the world in a day or two.

Instead, just give your very best

in the little things you do.

Then you will find in days to come

when taken all together,

These little steps did change and make

the world a little better.

- Thomas G. Gallagher

Walking On Thin Ice

I was in Beijing last month, and the most amazing experience was seeing this frozen river! 

I heard from the hotel reception that some tourists literally "walked on thin ice" ie. they climbed down an embankment and walked out to the frozen river - to take photos!!! That's really err ... a creatively-thick idea, sorry for the pun haha!

Bravo Pancakeism!

My birthday cake!

How Nancy Will Look Like When She Put On Women Power Hat

Life

"Be the change you want to see in the world"

- Mahatma Ghandi

Happy New Year 2009

Wishing all of you a Happy New Year that is full of Joy, Love, Peace, Warmth, Security, Health and Laughters.