Pancakeism Avenue

If you recalled my earlier postings, you would notice I have written on similar post previously. Since completion of my first degree, I have always wanted to write Children's books such as "The Legend Spookley, the Square Pumpkin" - educational and edutainment for children. Away from the two boxes, television and computer.

I thought of reading to children in bookshops and libraries, donating books to children in disadvantaged families, helping them to develop their creativity and communication skills besides improving the language itself.

Then you will question, why haven't I come up with my children's books. In fact, my academic book came first.

Not the procrastination. I have lost count. I must have written more than thousands of opening lines, but never quite managed to finish the first chapter before I chucked the whole theme away. Even though writing may not be difficult for me, illustration is a challenging task. In my views, no children's book is complete without proper illustration.

Perhaps, in my revised resolution list, I should consider picking up my creative pen again!

Believe In Your Strength

First of all, I am feeling much better today. Sorry for the pessimism tone in my postings last week. They were unavoidable, because deep down I had too much that I wanted to say.

If I were to say it, would everyone want to listen without judging that I may be creating a Mount Everest out of a molehill.

Anyway, revert to the first sentence, every now and then, we need to "empty all stale water in the glass". Last week was probably one of those moments for me. I need to reflect, think and re-think, and focus on paths I need to take in the next chapter of my life. Also, most important of all, to correct my mistakes (there are many), and to build on my strength (if any, hahaha).

I am also glad that I am no more frustuated with little things in life. Either I am getting fatter and able to absord and digest negativism faster. Or simply, I am able to process information quicker, and chuck all not-required information faster.

Like truth, belief, values, and appreciation, all these so-called things in general, are essential in our life as a holistic person. However, it's not easy to describe them. Most are in abstract forms. But I can't deny they are there, just like how we can't explain why a person get more empowered after stumbling upon a phrase or advert slogan that changes his perspectives after that.

In this world, there are many who may want to put you down. If you believe you are stronger than them, you won't be defeated easily.

Dream, Dream, Dream

Many quotes these days emphasized that dreams are essential in achieving the goals.

Guess, it slipped their mind to mention, REALISTIC dreams.
But, will dreams ever be realistic??

DREAMS



Don't you wish you wake up in the morning, there is a nice aroma of coffee waiting for you at the breakfast table.
Your fluffy cat, your loyal dog and your chatty hamster can talk in human language. They share with you things you have missed out while you were sleeping, including a neighbour cat that trespassed your front yard.

Daniel Eric Gold is your husband, and you have a daughter as cute as Suri Cruise.

Mr Obama is one of your good friends, and you get invited to Michelle Obama's Girls Night Out.
You eat a lot and you never gain an ounce, and you can fit in tiny Sarah Jessica Parker's dress size zero.

You have breakfast in Beijing, lunch in Hong Kong, and dinner in Brunei.
There are no worries, and you are full of strength.

Nothing comes between you and courage.

When you go to bed, you count the blessings and know tomorrow is as good as today, if not better.

***

REALITY

Reality always bites.
The cutest guy always asks you for your best friend's number.
The waiter gave you sorbet when you asked for ice cream.
When you complain, you are short temper.
When others complain, it's one of their bad days.
A friend called to ask for a listening ear. When you called for reciprocal ear, he said you are whining.
Man and man quarrel are about principle and rights. When woman and woman quarrel, it's cat fight.

Then, you realize, it's all parts and parcels of life.
Life's too bored if it's without ups and downs.
You learn each day as you try to overcome these issues and challenges.

In a blink of an eye, jealousy and back-stabbing are still there.
But you smile at these things now, for you have learnt to let go.
There are other important things that deserve your attention.
Life's too short to dwell on negative matters.
You may be kind, but stay assertive.

One day, those with the same eyes will be able to see and observe,
all you have done and positively contributed.

***

It's Not About Monday Blue

It's not about Monday blue, it's about the process to work towards what and where you deserve.

The irony in life is you have more than 300 friends on facebook, but when you need a listening ear - you have only 3 friends on the list. - Pancakeism

Note: This picture is taken from flickr.com.

I Told You So

"Life is a lot simpler if people mean what they said, and they do as what they said"

- Pancakeism

Where Do I Stand?

Everyone's relationship path is different. Mine is uniquely ... err ... pitiful (note: I am laughing at myself as I typed these words, so don't worry about me). 

I have always wanted to be noticed. I want to be heard. I want to be seen. I want to be recognised. I want to be a part of. I want to belong to. Yet in my relationship paths, I have always been the unnoticeable one and worse, the neglected clown. 

"Hi, thought our feelings were mutual. Err ... Congratulations, have I met her before?"

I have blamed on time. I have thought about luck. I was told I haven't shown enough interests. I was told I prioritised my work over any other things. I was told I have never seem to be serious in acknowledging the feelings were mutual. 

Don't say it was all good intention and you've never meant to hurt me, because you did. 

But, nobody can and nobody will hurt me again because I have quit this silly game that is called love. I've waited too long for miracles. I've always hoped for I would be the lead role and not the supporting role. I thought someday I'll have my own version of happily-ever-after. Well, it was all waiting in vain. 

Recently, I stumbled upon a song playing on radio. The name of that Mandarin song is: Onions. I love those chorus (translation reads): 

***

When you talked about you and her, I have learnt to hide my feelings and learnt to laugh with you. 

If you were to peel layers by layers of my heart, you would eventually regret those words that you said because you would find that it was you who occupied the deepest layer. However, in contrast I have always been the condiments in your eyes. You've never tried to observe nor do you understand me. 

***

Please revert to the first paragraph. Mine is uniquely err ... pitiful ... BUT interesting. It got me to think about: (a) How do people measure their feelings? and (b) Where is the line dividing mutual feelings from wishful thinking?

P.S.: Don't worry about me. Pancakeism prefers to live in present tense and dreams about future tense ;-)

Traits I Just Discovered

1) At my best, I am: low maintenance, friendly and adaptable.
1) At my worst, I am: angsty, angsty, angsty.
1) I tend to dream big, but I also worry that my dreams are not attainable.
1) I'll do rational things for relationship, but I won't fall for it easily these days.
1) I enjoy intellectual conversation, but not a conversation which the over-confident individual talks all time about herself/himself and makes sarcastic comments on the rest of the world.
1) I act and think like a 49 these days.
1) I am fearless when I am angry. My favourite line when I was 7: "If you dare bully my family and me, I will make sure your feet will never touch that floor again".

The Recipe to be Pancakeism: 

3 parts Bravery

2 parts Fearlessness

1 part Devilry

Splash of Humor (notice all the 1s in my list above, haha ..)

Chug!

Pancakeism Edition 2007 Chapter 26 Page 6

Woofhams has written a posting specifically for me - I was and still am on cloud 9! Actually what made me happier is her understanding and appreciation of how I want my life to be. When I was younger, I wanted a hustle-bustle life, a small apartment of my own with my own furniture, a decent husband that is not-too-bad and an angry-but-funny-looking dog that will wait for me by the door when we come home from work. My day would be packed with work and gym on week days, dinner parties with friends, weekend picnics with family. That was the life I wanted.

Reality and dreams are not necessarily mutually-exclusive, but many times not many people are so lucky to realise their dreams as the way they always wanted them. From my point of view, that is not too bad either. Life would not be challenging if reality = 100% dream. Furthermore, if we are contented with a permanent dream, we will forever not stepping out of comfort zone and will never be able to improve ourselves.

My life now might be dull in many eyes, but I am happy and contented because I believe I work hard to give better quality of life for everyone at home and I believe all my work are not in vain - one day, I will bring about a few good changes to people around me. I do not want to be a Nobel Prize Winner or a Top Book Seller - A great pleasure in life is knowing that you are improving every day and the very comforting thought is that what you know now is more than what you knew ten years ago.

Life may test me, it cannot stop me from doing what I want for my life.

Measurement

"If you measured your life by looking at your Have-Nots, you will never be happy. You will complain you have too little or none of most things others have. If you looked at your Haves no matter how little they are, you will have a lot under your wings."

Pancakeism Edition 1, Page 12345:

"Always carry a picture that fetches happy memories to you. When you are feeling blue, take a look at it, and it will guarantee no placebo effect"